Quest for the Birdie:A parody of Coolers Revenge
by TiKaL
Summary: A parody of Cooler's Revenge! Where Cooler wins. If youve Seen Cooler's Revenge you know how Goku goes super saiyan cuz he sees a birdie thats diein. Well in this Salsa predicts the future and he said a birdie was going to die so they travelto earth to tr


IEEE! This fan fiction is a remake of Cooler's Revenge, where Cooler wins, cuz Cooler ish my favorite character on DBZ ^___^!!! Please R&R when finished readin! Keep updated because I might have new chapters up! YAY! ~_~!! All characters belong to their Rightful owners, blah blah blah. I wished i owned some of em but I dont. Boo-hoo T_T!!!!!! Anyways, Hope you enjoy reading!!

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Quest for the Birdie

A Parody of Coolers Revenge

Chapter One: The Strike of Cooler

A large screen inside of a large ship in space flashed a movie of what was happening that day, at planet Vegeta.

"Thats Bardock... Ze wuz way to confident." Salsa said with a grin, nodding at the saiyan on the screen. Frieza had transmitted them this so Cooler could see what he was doing.

"See Cooler!" Frieza looked back at the place that was recording this event, transmitting it to Cooler's ship. "Look what I can do!" Frieza started laughing his ass off for no apparent reason and made a big energy ball.

This was a live show, and they could see from in the middle of space the energy he was making.

Frieza shot the energy at planet Vegeta, and then the live show was interupted when the screen went off, and you could see outside the space ship, like a giant window. 

Salsa spotted a small saiyan space pod.

"Whats this!?!" He said. "Someones getting away? Noway. I want a interior view, now!" He commanded.

The screen zoomed up on the pod, and inside was a saiyan child.

"Destroy it." Salsa muttered.

"Delay that order." A voice said. A strange floating chair like thing flew through the sky slowly, and went past Salsa.

"But Sir, zits getting away!" Salsa said to the owner of the voice.

"Freiza can take care of that. Besides, I have seven planets to save before the end of my day. Why should I delay my schedule to clean up his mess?" The voice asked.

"True." Salsa nodded.

"Besides, hes just a demon child. Hes no threat to us."

The screen showed Frieza again, and he was still laughing.

"Look at him," The voice said in disgust. "Laughing his arrogant ass off, not looking at his own stupidity and arogance!" The owner of the voice turned in his little floating go-kart. 

Cooler. Supreme Master of the universe, was outraged by his brother's stupidity. "Youve got alot to learn.. Brother." He said. "Lets get out of here." The ship charged off, just as the planet was destroyed.

"HAHHHHHAYYHH!" GOku yelled as he fired a kamehameha through the ocean.

"LOOK AT THAT!" Master Roshi squealed as he got distracted from his porn magazine. "I CAN SEE CLEAR TO THE FUCKING MAIN LANDS, GOKU, THATS AMAZING!!"

"Awesome huh? Watch this! I can make the walls go higher!!!" Goku yelled as he fired a larger shot through the water.

__

Remarkable, hes never trained harder but hes so relaxed and confident about it. Beating Frieza changed him.... In so many different ways... as Chi-Chi had said.

"There, divide that by 50067834.843674 and then cube that..." A small saiyan child said, doing his homework. His mother walked in with a tray.

"Hiii! I thought my little college professor might be thirsty!" She practically yelled.

"Huh?" He said stupidly.

"HEY WHAT DO YOU THINK DOING HERE? I know what your up too! Now get out of here!!!" She yelled towards Gohan's window. There was a little higher dragon peeking in.

"Gweehh?" It growled.

"YOU GET OUT OF HERE! GOHANS DOING HIS FUCKING HOMEWORK!!"Chi-Chi yelled at the dragon.

"Icarus, leave gohan alone! Hes trying to do his homework!" Goku yelled.

"WHAAAT?" Chi-chi exclaimed. "Did you just hear what your father said? He told Icarus to leave you alone cause you were doing your homework.. GOKU? ARE YOU FEELING OKAY, YOU BASTARD?"

"Oh yea, im feelin just fine!" He answered.

"Are you sure you dont have a fever, Goku? You sound a little strange!" Chi-Chi asked.

"No i feel great, i just want gohan to finish his homework!" Goku answered.

"Yup, I knew it! I knew it! Goku has never cared if you finished your homework! Gohan, im afraid there is something seriously wrong with your father!" She said, and then gulped down about 3/4's of the tea. "I wonder if all this fighting finnally got the screws loosened in Goku's head! Thats it. He must of bruised his brain!"

"Hmm hmm hmm.." Goku hummed "Ohp, not here."

"Oh no. My poor husband." Chi-Chi said.

"Da da da da da da." Goku hummed.

"Oh no, hes a gay ass monkey fruit!"

"Allright, this gotta work for a few days." Goku said.

"Oh no, i need to get him into bed before he hurts himself!" Chi-Chi exclaimed. "Hut wahha?" She tried to grab Goku, but fell on top of a table and crushes it!

"Hey gohan, hurry up and finish so we can go camping!" Goku yelled. "Chi-chi, whacha doin down there?"

"Uh, dear, you never mentioned this camping trip! Thats why you wanted Gohan to finish his homework?"

"Come on! Finish that later! Were all waitin for u, lil man!" Goku said to his son.

"Whos all?" Chi-Chi asked.

"Hahahahahahahaha." Krillin and oolong chuckled. Oolong sat gaily in front of Krillin as he said, "Were all!"

"Ohh i see so you had it all planned! WHATS MORE IMPORTANT, CAMPING OR HOMEWORK!?" Chi-Chi screamed at Goku.

"Chi-chi, im not an dumbass. Every parent knows the answer to that!"

"Mmmh hmm!" Chi-Chi nodded.

"Fucking, of course!" Goku said happily.

"Ooowahh!" Chi-chi yelled as she slowly fell down anime style.

"What? Thats absurd. Why would a birdie die?" Cooler asked.

"I dont know, but my psychic readings never fail!" Salsa said.

"This birdie has been living on planet earth, mah lord!" Door explained.

"I never did like birdie killers. They go and disgrace, just like my father and brother, by killing birdies." Cooler said.

"Father always spoiled Frieza rotten, for he was a birdie killer, the little brat." He thought. "Salsa! Prepare the ship for depature! I dont know who these humans think they are, but no one attacks birdies and lives to tell." He growled, and smashed his rock chair. "Plot a course for earth."

On earth

"Well the gay rice is almost done, and 

the stew looks good!" Krillin said. "Now all we need is for Goku to come back with the sexy fish and we will be ready!" 

"I dont know what it is about camping but the food always tastes horny, because you eat the animals in mating season." Oolong said.

"I think were gonna need a little more wood if were gonna keep me hot!" Krillin said. "What do you say, gohan?"

"Riighht!" Gohan answered. He ran over to a tree, and chopped it into many pieces, then smiled. "Thats that!"

"Your a lil on the small size, but just right for making sexy sushi." Goku said as he pulled a fish out of the lake. 

"POISHA!" Something squeals. Goku senses something or someone.

"I got one!" Gohan chuckled.

THe bushes crumble. "Bring it over, gohan!" Krillin grinned.

The water splashed.

"Gwehh Gwehhh!" Icarus growled.

"Hey whats all the humpin about? You gotta wait for me!" Oolong exclaimed. 

"Shhh!" Krillin whispered.

"Dont shush me, girlfriend! Icarus was the one making all the noise!" Oolong protested.

"You guys be quiet!" Krillin whispered. "BEHIND YOU!" Krillin yelled at Gohan, right before getting elbowed in the back of the head, being knocked out.

"Krilli-" Gohan then stops and freezes, as Doran grabs his tail. 

"Nighty Night!" Doran laughs. "This Punk destroyed birdies?"

"Gimme a break! His power level is only 50!" Door laughed.

"Its a pitiful level even if you dont have him by the tail!" Salsa said. "Hey zis guys a good cook."

"Hey thats my horny animal stew!!" Oolong cried out.

"..Zorny animal zwhaaa???" Salsa said, then spitted out the stew. 

"Ahh ahh!" Gohan yelled. "Stop it, you big BITCH!"

Doran shook gohan up and down by his tail, like a ping pong paddle.

"LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" Oolong said, as he tried to hump Icarus's back, trying to make him go.

"Hey!" Goku yelled.

"Well, what do we have here?" Doran asked.

"My name is Goku. These are my friends." Said you know who!

"Hu! Goku! This iz ze saiyan that destrozs ze birdies!" Salsa said.

"Ya dont say!" Doran said, as he threw gohan at the tent. "Lets kill him!"

"Yea! I wanna kill the guy that kills the birdies!" Door snickered. 

"Destroying ze birdies was a feat few could suzeed. You would be a presteigous kill for us." Salsa said.

"Who are you guys, anyways?" Goku asked.

"We are.. Cooler's birdie saving squadron!" The three said.

"What the fucking hell?" Goku said. "Great, there goes our camping trip!" He said as the three went after him.

"Look out dad!" Gohan yelled.

The three went towards him and through kicks and punches, but Goku swiftly dodged them all. 

Goku backed away from them. Then they all went towards him again and attack him but he blocks them and uses his energy to throw them away.

"Come on Krillin, you have to get up!" Gohan yelled to his friend as he pimp-slapped him repeatedly.

"So, this one knows how to fight." Salsa inquired. Goku powered up, and throws three seperate energy blasts at each of them. They all blocked the blast, but while they blocked the energy moves, Goku flew after Doran, and kneed Doran in his chest, and Doran grabbed a hold of him. 

"Hold him still, doran!" Door giggled as he cames towards the two. Then Door aimed a kick for Goku, but Goku quickly ecscapes just in time, and Door accidently kicked Doran.

"Hey whacha do that for!?" Doran yelled at Door.

Then Salsa throws a energy beam at Goku, and sends him down to the ground, though goku still blocks it, then it flys up to Door, "Its not my fault, you should of hold him tigh AHHH!" Door screamed, as the beam streaked straight at his head. The beam depleted, and then Door popped his head up in between his shoulders.

"Thank goodness for retractable heads!" He exclaimed. "Huh?"

Goku went down and landed on the ground, and about thirty feet away Cooler's Birdie Saving Squadron landed in front of him. All of the Squadron got a look of suprise on there looks when something or someone started making noises like "Whireerir..." 

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So what did you guys think? Please R&R and send any comments or questions too tikiban@msn.com. I would appriceate feedback for this is my first Parody fic of DBZ. I hope you've enjoyed it so far, and I hope your left in suspence of what will happen next, on QUEST FOR THE BIRDIE!!*James bond music* O.o well hope you review. LATER!!!!

P.S. Gomen Nasai if you dont like it because I dis lots of the characters, PLEASE dont flame ;_;!!


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